(I’m catching up on days because I just looked at a calendar and realized it has almost been a week now since this all began. All of my days have blurred and I wanted to try to get my posts going on the correct day)

What a whirlwind the last couple days have been. Things still don’t feel real. It’s like you read all the messages and say to yourself, wow, that’s a really sad situation for someone…and then reality sinks in.

Reality. It’s funny how one little word can be so different in only 7 days. 7 days ago I learned how to use a scroll saw. Sean learned how to put shiplap on a wall. I recorded a voice over. Sean was editing. It was a crazy weekend but that was what we did. We worked 40 hours at work and then picked up with our YouTube channel on the weekend. It was always a ton of work (we literally never stop working) but we LOVED it.

Fast forward to now and things have changed so much. That word reality comes into play again and here we are. We wake up, check Sean’s sugar, give him an insulin shot, make breakfast, take a pain pill, sleep, get up, check Sean’s sugar, insulin, lunch, pain pill, sleep….you get the picture. So different from the 2 people running around trying to accomplish 60 tasks in one hour.

We are not the only ones who are experiencing a new reality. You all are experiencing this with us as well. I wish I could take away all of the tears you guys have cried for us. I wish I could make the hurt stop for you all. I wish I could just make everything ok. This has been hard on so many of you and for that I am truly sorry. We don’t want to see anyone in pain and to know that we are causing that pain, well, it breaks our hearts.

Before I finish this post, I want to talk about 3 amazing people who live in the UK, who are going above and beyond to help us. I am talking about the lovely Emma from Emma Cruises and the dynamic duo Ben & David from Cruise with Ben & David. These 3 are teaming up, with so many other creators, and will be hosting a 12 hour fundraising event in Sean’s honor. If you are interested in learning more, check out their Facebook event here: https://facebook.com/events/s/12-hour-live-stream-fundraisin/198700548205495/?ti=as

To Emma, Ben & David: we love you all so much. I am forever grateful that we all got to meet in person and I hope and pray that we will all get to meet one day again. Ben, I will never forget how sore my cheeks were from laughing so hard on TriceraTop Spin. David, spending your lunch break at Waggamama with us was the coolest thing ever (I wouldn’t have given up my lunch break for us. That was so awesome). And Emma, you introduced us to Spoons, which is the single-handed best restaurant of all time (I know I know, don’t hate us UK 😂).

There are so many other amazing memories we have with the 3 of you (Emma wearing a skirt and no jacket and I was bundled up like we were visiting Antarctica 😂). We cannot thank you enough for this fundraiser. We are humbled by your generosity and kindness.

To all the creators, companies and to everyone who is involved with this fundraiser, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I keep talking about angels among us and you all have wings. ♥️

Previous Goal: Achieved! Sean is taking his pain pills and we are spacing them out enough to make them last until Wednesday (I still think it’s a stupid policy for someone with terminal cancer. Just saying). But we are getting through it and that’s all that matters. Sean is sleeping more than he ever has and that’s a big win.

This week’s goal: I am going to try my best not to be anxious waiting for these doctor appointments. Sean is anxious enough and I need to be there to calm him down. I don’t need to add to the stress (I may be calling some of you for you to calm me down, but I will do that away from Sean). This week is all about preparing for next Monday. It’s time to buckle down and prepare for the fight.